This post was written in response to an unexpectedly strong personal reaction, to a government letter stating the end of a saga in my life.
Like so many 'able-bodied' young men locally, I was required, while still in so-called best years, to show military commitment to our fledgling nation, however ridiculously useless I'd felt about my worth over 2 decades.
And yet, that not-always-pleasant mundane wisdom of years kicked in after the letter.
Rather than the feeling of "I'm free! Free!" I was supposed to celebrate, I felt profound "What if"?
What if I could give of my own free will, of the best of what I am, not the best of what was determined of me?
Probably none will ever know the answer, save what remaining years can witness of my efforts.
And then there is the open secret of parents fearing for their sons, when their 2 to 3-and-half years of enlistment arrive.
But these days of wisdom also birth a strange spirit of courage in adventure, from bleak dread; again, a really uncomfortable clash of feelings.
Fear national service, and one might as well fear death from unexpected disaster or crime, especially after unbroken years of ease & fortune.
In the end, no one is ever really safe & secure for all time. (Except perhaps the truly dead.)
For the sake of all I care for, I must continue to be strong. And cheerful. And productive.
Adding my drop, the ocean driving on
-
Soka founding 79
brothers in arms from the heart
I concluded the most obvious, official aspect of serving the nation, back in
September.
Over 2 decades ago...
1 week ago
